Living with ADHD

As most of our family is aware, Tyler has ADHD. This is the Hyper-Activity Disorder.

We recently posted about Tyler's first day of Kindergarten. I had to go pick up Tyler during his first day of Elementary School. He was off on Friday and over the weekend. He had meds these days. Today was his appointment for a refill and follow-up. Tyler did not have any medication today. I never thought this post would come out of me as I really don't want to reflect on my children negatively but this is a post that I can one day look back on.

Sometimes I wonder what did I do wrong? And now I know. Nothing. I just have one very beautiful, smart, precious, could never or would ever want to replace one-of-a-kind child whom Kale and I love of course with all of our hearts. This is hard work. It's hard work to live day-in and day-out with a child like Tyler. Am I blessed? Oh goodness. I am so blessed. I am blessed to be a mother. I am blessed to have a son. I am blessed to have one live birth out of a twin pregnancy. I am so blessed to have been able to carry a baby at all. I am so blessed. I thank the Lord above for allowing me to follow a program of recovery and to be a mother. I am blessed to be clean and sober off drugs to be a mother. I am so blessed!

Today was one of the hardest days I have ever faced with Tyler. I am tired. I am exhausted. I am tearful. I am overwhelmed. I am sad. I am so fearful that life will be overwhelming for my little Tyler. I am fearful that regular elementary school will be too hard for Tyler. I have so many fears. I love my son with all I have. I will do anything to try to be a better parent for him and for his disorder. Am I crying right now? Yes. I have had one heck of a day. It could be worse. It can always be worse.

Tyler is so hyper. He is so active. His motor runs constantly. He can't help a lot of these things. Without the meds ( even with the dosage he was on) Tyler has been bouncing off the walls. He can't sit still and watch a movie. He can't keep himself from rolling around on the floor. He can't keep himself from screaming and yelling at me. He can't keep himself in check.He is extremely impulsive. He can't sit in a chair at the kitchen table to eat. He can't brush his teeth without jumping around getting toothpaste everywhere. He can't do a lot without these meds.

Our day has been emotional. We have so much going on right now. Colten just came home from Texas. He is adjusting to the changes from being with dad to being with mom. I am still having contractions. This isn't fun. Any added stress on me right now puts me at risk again to having to be admitted to the hospital. I literally spent the day chasing down my 5 year old to make sure he wasn't getting into anything. He has eaten all day. He has been spinning in circles all day. I feel for him knowing it's that motor. We also might have a move coming up. Kale got a job offer and if he gets the job, we will have to move. We will have to relocate our entire family to another state. This is somewhat stressful.O.K. it's very stressful. We just have a lot going on.

Tyler has only been on 10 mg of medication a day for a few months. He started off with 2.5 and over the last 6 months we have slowly, very slowly, been increasing this amount. I have been extremely hesitant about these meds. I don't like them. I don't want him on the meds. I think it stinks. But I have seen that Kale and I don't have a choice but to go ahead and step back. The Doctor knows best and we know that. His dosage was increased today to 20 mg daily. We know that eventually, Tyler will also metabolize this amount. Maybe. I am hoping this will not be a constant increase for the rest of his life. I am hoping Tyler can grow out of this. I am not sure if that is possible. I pray that it is possible.

I know that the increase in meds for Tyler is a must. He has to have the meds to function normally on a daily basis. I pray constantly that his body takes the medication and nothing happens to Tyler. I would hate for something to happen to my little man. We are making lots of behavioral changes and disciplinary changes to help Tyler right now. We had a long night between the arguing, fits, yelling, and Tyler just acting out in frustration. He will start his meds tomorrow. I will post the results of the new medication dosage. Tyler also goes back to school tomorrow. I am praying he will be able to finish a school day without any problems. But if there are problems, Kale and I will work them out the best that we can.


As always
Love,

The Shank Family